Head Space

I have been spending the last week cleaning out my running head space.  I tell you See Jane did a number on me mentally and shook my running confidence big time! 

Do I even have any business running 1/2’s, I didn’t train hard enough, I’m not a real runner, who do I think I am qualifying for Half Fanatics and on and on.  For me running is 100% in my head.  Literally my brain signaling my body to move at a faster pace than a walk…figuratively the little voice in there that says just stop and walk, why am I doing this, I’m never going to run another race ever, so many others are so much faster, if I finish too slow people will talk about me…you get the idea.

It has been a process of letting go of negative thoughts and focusing on the elements I have control over.  My training physically and mentally, and my gear. 

Thank you once again to Dad for realizing I would want/need to make some changes and maybe need a few new things.  He made sure I had the $$ to get some needs and some wants. 

I will be running with this visor, even though I despise visors…

….it will be nice to keep the sun off my face and help give the illusion of coolness, and I won’t need sunblock on my face so no sunblock running all over the place with all the sweat. 

I really despise running with anything in my hands, for even the shortest run, but I’m not willing to rely on the aid stations for hydration.  So I will be running with this water bottle…

Bigger zipper pocket fit’s my ID, car key, and gel bites perfectly. 

I really love the mesh pocket on the backside of the strap because it fits chap stick perfectly.  I must always have my chap stick with me! 
I ran with the water bottle on the 8 mile run the other night and drank all 9 oz’s.  I had to switch it back and forth a lot because it started irritating me, not physically just mentally, I started feeling fidgety with it.  I figure if it’s bothering me too much I can dump it at mile 8 when we see Elya, or a few miles after than when we see Dad for the last time before the finish.  
I also ordered white compression socks.  When it’s hot wear the lightest color possible, and there is a July clearance sale going on at http://www.procompression.com/.  Even though I have not made a decision about compression yet, I’m wearing compression all day during the week, and during all my runs hoping that I will build up compression benefits in case I decide it’s too hot to wear them.  I may start out in them regardless and then take them off and switch to low socks since Elya will be at mile 8 with fresh socks and shoes.  Or I may just say screw it and go without knowing that I have some time to rehab the shin splints before the next 1/2.  Will totally be a morning of decision.
This was totally not a need, but sometimes fun things help get your mind right as well.  I needed something to make me feel excited about this next one, Michelle agreeing to run it with me and then finding matching tops did the trick.  Race day outfit…
We thought this top with our black matching skirts would be super cute.  Only problem for me is my black skirt doesn’t fit just right any more and causes issues.  I didn’t want to order the exact same skirt again, so went with this black and white striped one.  The tank is white, very light fabric, a bit of a roomy cut so it will be breezy and super, super sheer.  That doesn’t bother me though, I have already proven I will run topless if need be, so sheer is a non issue now. 
I also found some awesome red confetti nail polish to match.  Anything that works for real or works in my head is worth it! 
I feel confident I have made all the changes I can in the short amount of time I had to make them and test them the best I could.  At the very least I already know if I can finish See Jane I can finish this one as well!  I have zero expectations or hopes other than to finish and have fun.  I don’t want to be doubled over wondering if I’m going to make it or not.  I just want to have fun and feel the best I can while running a 1/2.   
It really helps knowing Dad will be along the route in two spots, and Elya will be at mile 8.  It breaks up the race into sections and give me things to look forward to!  Plus knowing we will have ice/hydration/food/fresh socks/anything else I can think of  along the way is a nice safety net. 
Did an early morning 3 mile run with Elya today and have 3 miles with the stroller group tomorrow and then I’m done until race day! 
Sky thinks I should just lay back and relax with her instead of all this running.  🙂