I find it interesting that one of the first things Sky asked me, after being gone for a week and a half, was if she could run with me.
It’s so funny that she finds comfort in the same thing I do. I registered for several races while I was gone helping my Dad, and the first thing Sky asked to do with me was go for a run. We talked, we laughed, we said I love you a lot, and we told each other how much we missed each other during our run together.
It’s easy to let myself think that she doesn’t miss me when I’m gone. To think that she’s having so much fun with Daddy, her activities, and spending more time with friends and family that my presence is irrelevant.
Not irrelevant in a feel bad for me…I don’t matter way, but irrelevant in a she has a lot of people that love her way, and she was well cared for type of way. Which is all true. Between Mark, grandparents, and friends she still made it to all her swimming and school times, and had tons of extra play time with friends.
Her tearful breakdown in the car made it crystal clear that she did miss me though. As soon as I got into town I went straight to the friends house she was playing with (and thankfully they had dinner ready to share so I didn’t have to worry about cooking after 8 1/2 hours on the road) and she was mad I was there. She didn’t want to leave her friends and the fun she’d been having.
It wasn’t until we got in the car on the way home that she fell apart and sobbingly told me everything that was wrong with life and it all came down to this, “It was rough mommy, I really missed you”.
And, while that breaks my heart, it also reminds me how important my job is. How important being her mommy is. How important running with her is…proving to her that I’m there for her and that running is there for her/us as well.