Thankful Thursday

This month I’ll focus on one thing to be thankful for every Thursday rather than a bullet point list.

Today I’m thankful for all the twists and turns in life that made me a stay at home mom.

Please keep in mind this is based on my own personal situation, and not a commentary on what is right or wrong, what other moms should or shouldn’t do or feel. This is about me, and no one else. There are lot’s of ways to parent and be happy families…to each their own! 

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She is just the best thing ever and I love spending my days with her!

It’s astonishing to me that I’m a mom at all (for those that don’t know I thought I didn’t want kids…ever. Was very happy being kiddo free), so deciding to pursue adoption was a shocking move to those that know me. I remember the call to my Dad telling him we started the process I seriously thought he had a heartache on the phone he was so shocked.

Adoption itself is a crazy roller coaster of a ride with no guarantee as to the outcome. A leap of faith for sure. The fact that someone chose us to give her precious baby to is still sort of unreal to me. I look at her sometimes and still have a hard time believing she’s ours. Such an honor and a privilege to be Sky’s Mommy.

Being a stay at home mom was absolutely not part of the plan. I had a good job, good pay, co-workers I enjoyed, and 14 years of seniority…so I wasn’t going anywhere, plus I wanted to work. I liked “pulling my weight”, and having been through a divorce previously, and being the financially responsible one in that relationship, I knew the value of having a self support job…you just don’t know what life is going to bring your way.

But, layoffs happened while I was on leave with Sky, and the writing was on the wall, even with 14 years in it was easy to see my job wasn’t going to be there for me, and I was not thrilled about the assumed reorg of the department, even if my job survived the cuts. So I signed the separation paperwork with my employer, and focused on enjoying a few months off with my baby.

I did not expect to enjoy being home with her as much as I did. I flat out couldn’t stand the thought of not being with her. I said something, half joking because I didn’t think it was a possibility, that I secretly wanted to be a stay at home mom. Well, a few days later Mark said that since the single income was working, and it was clear we were all pretty happy with the situation why not stay home until Sky was in school FT.

Even though it’s hard and frustrating some days, there are moments in each day that make me so thankful I get to be the one (for the most part…pre-school and grandparents help too!) who plays with her, helps her learn new things, holds her hand, cuddles with her, get’s to experience her wildly funny sense of humor, and her huge loving heart. So many precious, fleeting moments packed into a single day that I file away in my heart and mind to hold onto.

I get overwhelmed sometimes thinking about how if one little thing had been different, of if something had or hadn’t happened the way it did my life would be totally different right now.

Everyone has ups and downs in life, good and bad…I’d go through it all again if I knew it meant I’d be where I am today. So thankful to have a husband, daughter, and life that I love!

Halloween Weekend

I think this year is the first year Sky knew what was coming. She knows what Halloween is about…well ok, let’s be honest…she knows she gets to dress up & get candy! She talked, and talked, and talked about Halloween for months. Her costume changed several times, but once she settled on Rapunzel that was it. It’s all she talked about.

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Mark had taken her shopping for her costume, complete with tiara and magic wand (I know she doesn’t have a magic wand in the movie, but in Sky’s mind every princess has a wand) and when I got home she rushed me into my closet, where her dress was hanging. “Mommy I want you to keep it safe for me until Halloween”.

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Sky has a Darth mask that she wears all the time, but seeing him in person was a little scary for her. She warmed up to him though…after trying to banish him with her wand.

Every few days there was a trip into my closet to view the dress, and make sure the tiara, wand, and shoes were on the shelf safely waiting for her.

She had so much fun showing off her costume and participating in all the festivities. We found some indoor options since we had a wind/rain storm going on. But, we found a magical window of 30 rain-free minutes in route from indoor event #1 to indoor event #2. So we stopped in the neighborhood we were driving through for some good old fashioned trick-or-treating.

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We had an adults only party the night before and went as Hannibal and Clarice. I LOVED my costume because it was from her FBI Academy training, so I rocked sweats all night!
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Love Jamberry’s glow in the dark nail wraps! So much fun. I shared mine with Michelle and she managed to get an awesome pic of them glowing. I’ll be wearing them again next year because they are just too much fun!

I have to say Fircrest wins Halloween hands down. From full sized candy bars to elaborate themed houses complete with actors and spotlights. The Walking Dead zombie house was full on movie production quality, and scared the $hit out of me. We never even made it to the door…the zombies were all over the place and after being blindsided by one (I was a little slow to realize that the mob of people were not all kiddos seeking candy, but rather zombies going after people in the street and down the sidewalk) all I need to turn tail and run was hearing Sky say, “Let’s get out of here, save Daddy, let’s go”. A zombie, with a chain saw had “gotten” Mark’s leg and between that and my screaming Sky was not having it. That was supposed to be the last house before leaving, but we decided a few friendly, not scary houses were in order so as not to end on a bad note for Sky.

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Not the Zombie house, because I was too scared to get a picture of it. This was down the street from it, and was a “Jason” house, complete with Jason standing in the window (upper left), with a knife, making scary sounds. This one was almost too much for Sky, but she braved it and went up to the door. They make you stand at the door waiting though until they go through the “performance” and sufficiently scare everyone.

Sky is till talking about how scary the green house was, and how it’s a good thing the zombies don’t know where we live. I’m sort of shocked she hasn’t had any nightmares actually.

And, now she’s already talking about what she’s going to be for next year.